Recently I went through a bout of depression and self doubt, some very negative thoughts, and it made me reflect upon my life and what my purpose is, as well as question: Am I allowed to be selfish? Am I allowed to focus on myself?
Part of the issue that I had came into play because a couple of years ago I decided that I wanted to try seeing what I could create. I wanted to build and create a legacy. All these different things that I wanted to do I wanted to see manifest.
Over the course of time, the expectations I put on myself were very heavy, and yet today I realize one of the issues that I have is that I am constantly giving both in my professional career as well as my entrepreneurial one, and even in my family life and relationships that I have outside of work, I’m constantly giving. My own battery needs to be recharged, but I’ve always had the guilt.
Do something for myself? Isn’t that selfish? Am I allowed to be selfish? This is the question I posed to myself, and the answer is a resounding yes. Why? They’ve always said when the plane goes down, put on your oxygen mask first, take care of yourself first, take care of your health first, take care of your relationships and lifestyles first. Be one of your most important loves there is. Being selfish means that you are taking an opportunity to invest in the person that you are, not the person someone else needs you to be, or emulating the behaviors of another person.
I am allowed to be selfish. The reason I’m allowed to be selfish is because of the fact that the world asks so much of each and every one of us. Building your own internal foundation is key. There are different areas in our lives we all need to focus, but in each one of those we can take a moment for ourselves. Even if it’s in you professional career, you can take a moment to learn something to do that’s a skill. in the knowledge workers atmosphere We can do that. In your personal life, exercise, going out to a movie by yourself, going out to dinner by yourself, just to go ahead and reinvigorate your own mind of what is acceptable. This is the process that we need to look at in order to grow.
Now when I was a kid, only a child, you could say I was spoiled up until the point in which my parents had some financial difficulties. Then the spoiled kid became the kid who wasn’t spoiled any more, he just was there. Some of those habits have always stayed on. I think that’s part of being an only child is the expectation the focus is on you. As I’ve grown in life and as I’ve grown in relationships the one thing I’ve done is put a lot of my energy into other people. Over the course of the last few years I have focused on creating a legacy. That legacy is not just for myself, but for my family. It’s for my children to see how someone can become successful. All those things come into play.
What am I doing now to be selfish? Going to movies, having dinner, taking a walk by myself, by myself, by myself. That’s right, self. Selfishness comes from focus on ones self. Do that, be happy. Am I allowed to be selfish? Hell yeah.